Lacrosse Camps and Academies by Rhino Lacrosse

January 27th, 2010 by Sean Burns from insidelacrosse.com

My first-ever blog brought out a lot of comments, which is great. Thanks for all of them, even the bad ones.

To all the Haters: I love ya! Thanks for telling me I suck at Lax, I am stupid, and Ugly. Did I miss anything? For my detractors this blog is surely going to push you over the edge and I cannot wait to hear your comments! To be honest, when the season starts I may actually write some serious lacrosse facts, but for now, let’s have some fun.

With all the talk/drama surrounding MTV’s Show “Jersey Shore” and me being called by one commenter on my blog “’The Situation’ minus the abs with hair on my back”, I figured I would give you my thoughts on why having Guido traits is good. I also put together my “All-Time Guido Team” which consists of some great lacrosse players.

Beast’s Guide to Guidos and Lax

First, in order for you to fully understand what a Guido is please click this link, read the definition and come on back.

Got it? Ok, let’s move on.

Why is having some ‘Guido’ in your game good? Guido’s have traits that can be very helpful when playing lacrosse. Traits like aggressiveness, pride in your appearance and not really caring what others think. These things are needed to make a great lacrosse player. Think about it for a second…am I right or what?

How do you now incorporate some Guido into your game? Keep on reading, here are the basics.

• Step 1- you need to hit the gym- hitting the gym is going to make you stronger and therefore help your game. Guido’s hit the gym because they want to get jacked and look good in clubs.
• Step 2- you need to look in the mirror and make sure your look is meticulous. The old adage is “If you look good you play good.” And that is so true. If you like your lax-look then you are walking tall and your chances of playing well increase 1000%.
• Step 3- you must have a go-to cologne. Why is this relevant? Come on, have you ever smelled old lax gear? The cologne will mask that stench!
• Step 4- you must know at least three Guido Anthems. If you want examples: here are 3 Old-Gweed Anthems and 3 New-Gweed Anthems

OLD

TKA “Louder Than Love”

Shannon “Let the Music Play”

Stevie B “Spring Love”

NEW

DJ Tiesto “Traffic”

DaRude “Sandstorm”

Paul Van Dyk “For an Angel”

Now that you understand how to make this happen let’s take a look at my All-Time Guido Team (each player has a Guido nickname, a cologne of choice and a car of choice).

Beast’s All-Time Guido Team

Goalie – Sal LoCasio

UMASS All-American, 100-time world teamer, Hall of Famer
Nicknames: Sally Semolina or Fresh Muttz-a-del (Mozzarella)
Cologne: Polo
Car: 1985 Cadillac Eldorado with velour interior

Defense – Dave Pietramala

Hopkins, Hall of Famer and the best d-man ever
Nicknames: Petro or GOD
Cologne: Drakkar
Car: 1996 Lincoln Continental

Defense – Nick Polanco

Hosftra, All-American, All-Pro, All-Pimp Team
Nicknames: Nicky Knuckles or Nicky Procuittio
Colonge: Gucci By Gucci
Car: 2011 Cadillac STS with the Gold Package

Defense – John Gagliardi

Hopkins All-American, All-everything, founder of Maverik Lacrosse
Nicknames: Gags or John Soprano
Cologne: Versace
Car: 2011 Range Rover Sport with the Sinatra Package

Long Stick Midfield – Brian Spallina

Hofstra, MLL, teacher, sick dude!
Nicknames: Sampson or 3 Minutes Unreleasable.
Cologne: Brut
Car: 1969 Chevy Monte Carlo with 2000 watt sound system

Midfield – Vinny Sombrotto – Hofstra

We have a lot of Gweeds on Hofstra huh? All-World like 100 times, hall of famer, one of the all time greatest middies
Nicknames: Vinny Sombrott’s or Vinny Corvette
Cologne: Hugo Boss
Car: 2011 Maybach

Midfield – Steve Sombrotto

CW-Post, MLL, MILL, NLL
Nicknames: Jedi Ravioli or Lupo
Cologne: CK One
Car: 2000 Lincoln Navigator with chrome everything

Midfield – Paul Carcaterra

Syracuse All-American, MLL, CBS Sports Colorman
Nickname: Pauly Booch
Cologne: True Religion
Car: 2000 Audi S8 tinted out

Face-Off – Chris Cercy

Syracuse All-American, MLL
Nickname: DJ Silver Dollars
Cologne: Obsession
Car: 1977 Monte Carlo SS with white walls

Attack – Joe Lizzio

Cornell -All-American, Rusty Red
Nickname: Rock
Cologne: Red Wine
Car: 2011 Bentley Flying Spur and his weekend car is a 1987 IROC-Z

Attack – Steve Carcaterra

Towson (resides currently near “The Guido Mecca” The Jersey Shore)
Nickname: Nooch
Cologne: Creed
Car: 1932 Ford Model T with Hydraulics

Attack – Mike Springer

Syracuse AA, All-everything and the loan representative on the team from the State of New Jersey!
Nicknames: The Situation or SpringDog
Cologne: Cool Water
Car: 2009 BMW X-5 Tony Bennett Edition

Head Coach- Dom Starsia

Current UVA Head Coach and total Guido
From what I hear he drives around the UVA Campus in a tricked out 1990 yellow convertible Mustang GT and it leaves a smell trail of Old Spice in its wake! Love you Coach!

Assistant Coach- Jim Stagnitta

Current Head Coach of Rutgers which is the #1 All-time Guido college!
He makes it his mission to recruit total gweeds. He is often seen wearing a gold nugget pinky around campus and driving an A-Team Style Van

Equipment Sponsor

Fila and Maverik Lacrosse (founded by a total Guido’s) www.mavericklacrosse.com

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In conclusion, as you can see these are some pretty great ex-laxers/laxers. It is their “Inner Guido” that makes them so good. You should give it a try if you haven’t already. I am sure there are more Guido’s I could name for this team but I have limited space, tell me some of your All-Time Guido’s

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